According to Amy Meraki there was a major emphasis put on equality between the sexes when the feminist movement in business started to boom in the 80’s. Shorter haircuts became trendy, shoulder pads made a woman’s shape disappear, and the power suit became a beacon for women’s rights everywhere. We saw women striving to find their position of power by abandoning their feminine energy.
She also continued to say that this wasn't all bad as the generations before us felt like they needed to make a bold statement to be taken seriously by the patriarchal society, but the downfall was we started to believe that in order to succeed in business, women must conform to a more masculine version of themselves. Which in a way, is still giving up our power as women. It’s like saying, “Yes, women and men can be equals, but only if women be more like men.” Somewhere along the way, we forgot that equality means that all humans should be valued just the same regardless of gender; what it doesn’t mean is it that we have the same innate strengths.
The masculine likes to “do”. The feminine craves to just “be”. But the gag is!… we have access to both of these energies inside each and every one of us. We need both to be balanced, but we are primarily born with one dominant form that feels most natural to us. Women are usually more feminine associated and the opposite is true for men. (In same-sex couples, usually one partner is more masculine and the other feminine in order for there to be sexual polarity.)
So what this means according to Amy is that if we are more feminine associated by nature and change to compete in the masculine dominated corporate world, then we lose some of our innate power. We forget how to be a woman. We forget how to soften once we’ve left work. This causes us to feel unbalanced, stressed and stuck. We become rigid and lose our flow. Holding onto this Miss Independent Woman energy can feel like a mask. We have a hard time connecting with others, and we start to see other women as threats.
I relate to "We forget how to be a woman. We forget how to soften once we’ve left work. This causes us to feel unbalanced, stressed and stuck. We become rigid and lose our flow. Holding onto this Miss Independent Woman energy can feel like a mask. We have a hard time connecting with others" very much so coming from a family of either divorced or single independent black female academics or women who have been through it all just to give their family the best they could with no help from a man means I actually don't know what married couple looks like therefore I'm not familiar with the dynamics thus meaning I could've either been very submissive towards men or the complete opposite - I was the opposite. I could blame my mother and two aunts being in medicine as the reason they were so emotionally unavailable or controlled so they carried their ethics from work home or maybe their upbringing(which isn't spoken about into detail) was going to turn them out that way anyway, or my fathers hot tempered side of the family being very violent and unable to communicate their discrepancies with non - confrontational words and fists . Either way no one recognizes mental illnesses or communicates their feelings effectively rather have always operated in survival mode meaning camping in your emotions or crying for more than five minutes wasn't an option you would be supported on. This meant from a very young age regardless of the traumatic events my siblings and I always had to pull ourselves together and keep going because no one was going sit down and stop what they're doing to console you. My psychologist recently reaffirmed this by equating a reaction I had to a traumatic event as no one being around to teach me to process emotions such as grief or mourning so I just didn't process the incident at all until much later in life.
This is an average family of colour, regardless of how perfect or happy they may seem on the outside. female and male energy's are not discussed because of numerous reasons and sometimes what is deemed as male energy is forced or developed through hardships or survival mode eventually becoming a norm. as a teenager I always thought I leaned more towards the 'tomboyish' side growing up, mainly because I didn't particularly feel pretty, I had acne but I also had a great body, personality and was sporty so that almost overshadowed that. I wasn't really interested in boys (yes I was one of those "I'm never giving it up to anyone in high school" kind of girls).
I always stood up for what I believed in,didn't care if people agreed or disagreed, didn't care if people liked me or not and physically fought any boy I felt disrespected me. My dominant personality and 'aggressive' manner meant I channeled more of my male energy but I always found myself in leadership positions throughout high school because of that. I said what some people were maybe afraid to say and kicked the boys everyone wished they could kick in the balls. Digging deeper I think I behaved that way because that's how we communicated at home and I always told myself I wouldn't let any boy disrespect me like that in the outside world.
A few years have passed since those days and I always make sure to introspect regularly (highly recommend this) about who I am now, who I was at the beginning of the year , few years ago, a few months ago and how far I've come in terms of emotional evolution. So I always take randoms quizzes and tests just out of curiosity because my brain always wants to know more about the world and myself ( yes I watch every genre of documentaries you can think of too). Since being bald my main insecurity besides my skin (which has improved since then but I'm still super antsy about it) is whether or not I look like a boy or not. So I started reading random articles about female and male energy because maybe there was something beyond me associating being bald with males but maybe it was triggering a complex I wasn't cognizant I had. So it turns out we actually all have BOTH female and male energy regardless of our gender. Your leading energy reflects your inner nature and values. Because of this, there are women who have masculine leading energy just as there are men who have feminine leading energy. Understanding and being okay with your leading energy, or core energy, is necessary to align yourself – and will bring about greater understanding as to maybe why you react or behave a certain way in certain situations - So I'm currently on my journey to discovering that energy in a mature and healthy way and you should too!
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